marriage
And it crossed my mind that just a short 18 months earlier, Kyle and I walked through the hardest season of our marriage to date. It was the first time the thought of living apart from one another ever seriously crossed my mind. It was a season of sitting with pain, getting honest, bearing hard truths, and offering apologies and promises of something different. Something new.
There were tears and sleepless nights. Exposing deep wounds. There were therapy sessions, honest ongoing conversations without taking offense, and friends who prayed over us when we didn’t have the words or the strength to believe the good for ourselves.
And this is the lie that sometimes permeates social media: The lie that someone else’s life and marriage is perfect. Ideal. When that’s simply not the case.
Kyle and I love each other as imperfect people who both brought baggage to our relationship that needed to be exposed and addressed. And we’re still working on it.
So why do I tell you all of this? Because I know some of you are in a hard spot right now. And maybe no one knows what you’re going through. Maybe others have voiced their concerns and you aren’t sure where to start. Maybe you’re too embarrassed to reach out.
Can I tell you in the most loving way, friend, that sometimes we need the guidance and listening ear of others to grow and be better. Therapists and counselors are amazing at helping us do the hard work. Sometimes medication is needed.
No matter what, I know you were not meant to walk through a hard season alone. God is near. And he uses others to help us find healing. Wholeness. Deeper relationships with loved ones.
This year, let’s look at the places in our lives that need to be addressed and do the hard work to get help. And even more importantly, to be healed. We’re praying for you, friend.
Kendra
We spent this past week in Colorado with family and friends. For the first several nights, we’d gather at our house, Kyle cooking and everyone bringing something to share.
 |
| One of our nightly meals together! |
We gather to Climb for Katrina. And before supper, I decide to offer a toast. As I raise my glass, my voice catches in my throat. Carol wraps her arm around my waist, offering strength and understanding of loved ones now gone. I smile at her as I continue and we toast to friends and family, Colorado and the Hope Hike, and then to Katrina and all that her life represented.
We end with cheers and hugs and laughter as kids scurry past to get food and drinks, then rush off to play again with friends.
We end with cheers and hugs and laughter as kids scurry past to get food and drinks, then rush off to play again with friends.
10 years today. Exactly.
10 years ago that I said yes to this man. I said yes to a life lived together, instead of separate. A life of decisions to be made that benefit us, as a family, and not just me.
A decade of sacrifice and consideration of our life together. A decade of making decisions and choosing our family over personal advancement.
Marriage is many things. It's true. But as I've walked this married road, I've realized that this process of continuing to choose us over me is what keeps us going. This is the secret to our success. This is the choice we both continually make, sometimes on a daily basis.
Because when we're honest, most fights, arguments, and struggles we've had came when we wanted to put ourselves first. When we wanted to disregard what was best for us and simply choose what was best for me.
10 years ago that I said yes to this man. I said yes to a life lived together, instead of separate. A life of decisions to be made that benefit us, as a family, and not just me.
A decade of sacrifice and consideration of our life together. A decade of making decisions and choosing our family over personal advancement.
Marriage is many things. It's true. But as I've walked this married road, I've realized that this process of continuing to choose us over me is what keeps us going. This is the secret to our success. This is the choice we both continually make, sometimes on a daily basis.
Because when we're honest, most fights, arguments, and struggles we've had came when we wanted to put ourselves first. When we wanted to disregard what was best for us and simply choose what was best for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons