My dad always owned his own business. When I was a child he was a farrier, traveling from farm to farm—putting in long days, especially in the summer, coming home smelling like animals and outside and barnyards. I loved it.

When I was in middle school we moved, horseshoeing had become just too physically taxing for my dad to continue doing and so he needed a change. We settled across our state in a small town where he began a financial services business. And although I could say many things about that time of my life, one thing I remember distinctly was how lean the next few years were financially. Not that my parents complained or worried to us kids, but we could sense that things we’d done before wouldn’t be happening those first couple of years, that we needed to cut back on spending. Still, we found we were okay.

And that is why this season, this year, has felt somewhat familiar to me. My husband owns his own business and it has afforded us many benefits for which I am so grateful these past seven years. But this year has been slightly different. Through no fault of his own, some client bases have changed, contacts moved to different companies—leaving us in a season of leanness, at least financially.

Jasmine's first day with us.

Jasmine's adoption day!

Six years have come and gone since that day, and I remember the emotion of it all as if it were still happening. We were so excited and naïve. We saw this child as nothing but a blessing. Pure light in our lives. A gift. And every day as I look at my daughter’s shining face I’m reminded that God can take my mistakes, my missteps, and by his grace, make something lovely again.

Being a young mom includes many joys, but can also come with some challenges. This is especially true when you’re trying to navigate adult friendships while also caring for little people in your home. But just because life may be different doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prioritize our relationships. It’s still valuable for each of us to have friends. Here are five easy ways to intentionally make friends as a new mom:

• Join a local moms or MOPS group. After my son was born, my sister-in-law invited me to a local moms group that had joined. Even though it was a struggle to get there with a toddler and newborn in tow, I decided to make the effort. I’m so glad that I did. I didn’t realize how lonely I had been until I was surrounded by other women. I found other moms who could relate to all that I was experiencing as a new mom and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Joining that moms group was one of the best decisions I made in those early years and it sparked friendships with women that I still have today.

• Start conversations with other moms at the park or a play center. Meeting other moms at the park or play centers is another way to potentially meet new friends, especially if they happen to live in your neighborhood and frequent the same places you do.

• Look for other moms to befriend at your child’s activity or class. When my daughter was two, I took her to a mommy and me class. We met another mom and daughter who became friends and we would all spend time outside of the class. It was nice to have someone my daughter connected with as well.

• Join a new group or Bible study at your church. Do you have a hobby that you love or an activity you enjoy? Being a mom doesn’t negate our need to enjoy our own interests, and finding a group to be a part of that doesn’t have anything to do with motherhood can  be a great place to find a friend who can support you in what you are passionate about or interested in. Having friends who are in other stages of life is important and valuable to our mothering, as well.

• Reconnect with an old friend you’ve lost touch with recently. Motherhood can be busy and we can sometimes lose our connection to friends we’ve had in the past. This might be a good time to intentionally reach out to an old friend and catch up on how you’re both doing.

God designed us to be in relationship with others, no matter what stage of life we are in. Friendship is so important in the midst of mothering. If you are lonely, take some time to pray and then look for one place in your life you could reach out to another woman and make a new friend today.

We are so excited to partner with the YouVersion Bible app in offering this free 7 day devotional! 

With over 75,000 competitions, each day in How to Have Intentional Friendships has a daily scripture, story, and friendship prompt. It is encouraging and slightly challenging (in a good way!) as you find, keep, and love your friends.

And, because our first YouVersion devotional was so popular, we added an additional 7 days called How to Have Intentional Friendships, Part II.

Both excerpts are from our book, The One Year Daily Acts of Friendship, available everywhere books are sold.     

Looking for more resources around friendship and kindness? Have you checked out our other books?

Are you looking for more resources? Have you checked out our books?

Looking for a resource to help your middle school girl navigate friendships? 

We've got you covered with this FREE 7 day devotional except from our book 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls!  

Written for girls aged 8-12 as they navigate friendships in upper elementary and middle school, we include a scripture, short story, reflection questions and (in the book only, 50 fun activities to do with you or friends!), it's a wonderful way to encourage your daughter, niece, granddaughter, God daughter and her friends to build healthy friendships from an early age. 

As an added bonus, the YouVersion devotional includes Conversation Starters to help you as you read along and discuss each day's friendship takeaway. We're so excited to offer this sampler through YouVersion and Tyndale House Publishing!  

If you love YouVersion's free 7 day sampler devotional, consider picking up the 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls.

 

God designed us to be in relationship with others. But sometimes, friendships are hard. 

For many of us, the struggle began when we were young girls. Those early interactions shaped the way we view ourselves and others and continue to influence us throughout our lives.

That's why we wanted to write our new devotional, 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls. As three women who have been friends for more than 15 years—and moms to a combined seven daughters—we want to give girls practical tools to encourage them to become better friends, including giving and receiving apologies, setting appropriate boundaries, and standing up for yourself and others. Each day ends with a reflection question or two for the girl to consider, as well as an action step to take toward becoming a better friend.

Want to learn more? Here's a bonus devotional:

When a Friend Isn’t a Friend

Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in with mockers.
Psalm 1:1

The art teacher had just stepped out of classroom. No sooner had the door clicked shut behind him than one of the students became upset that he had left. As the boy’s agitation grew, Tammy heard a snicker break through the quiet murmurs of the other students.

Looking up, she was surprised to realize that the noise was coming from her friend Nora. Tammy’s heart began to pound as Nora’s soft laughter triggered nervous, uncomfortable laughter in the other students. Within moments, the noise had increased, turning into full-fledged taunting—all because a student was struggling with fear and anxiety beyond his control.

Although the two girls had spent hours at each other’s houses over the years of their friendship, Tammy was knocked off-kilter by Nora’s unkind laughter. A swarm of butterflies in her stomach and a lump in her throat had joined her pounding heart. But before her brain had a chance to catch up with her body, she found herself standing and facing her friend.

Looking Nora in the eye, Tammy managed to say, “Knock it off. Just leave him alone.” The words sounded meek and breathless.

Nora glared in response. “What did you just say?”

Stronger now, Tammy repeated the words. “Knock it off. Leave him alone!”

Nora looked as stunned as Tammy felt. Turning back to Tammy as she sat down, she hissed, “You don’t always have to be such a suck up! The teacher’s not even in here to see you being the teacher’s pet.”

Nora’s words stung, but it no longer mattered. In those few moments that revealed her friend’s true character, the relationship changed. As Christians, we are reminded to be wise in our friendships—including not choosing to go along with those who mock others. Nora’s teasing had helped Tammy realize that sometimes friends shouldn’t be our friends, but stay acquaintances. Though Tammy was still kind to Nora whenever they were in class together, they no longer spent time with one another. Though someone may be kind to us, the way they treat others—especially those who are vulnerable or overlooked—reveals what’s really in their hearts.

Things to Think About:

What happens when “friends” reveal parts of their character we didn’t expect?

As Christians and as friends, what should our response be?

Daily Act of Friendship: Thank a friend—either in person, through text, or via a note—for standing by you in a hard situation.

Our newest book, the 100 Daily Acts of Friendship for Girls is written specifically for girls aged 8-12 as they navigate friendships in upper elementary and middle school. With a scripture, short story,

reflection questions and 50 fun activities to do with you or friends, it's a wonderful way to encourage your daughter, niece, granddaughter, God daughter and her friends to build healthy friendships from an early age.